Conquering Dragons, Not Spiders
by BeyondTheClouds777
Summary: "...Who ended the three hundred year war between vikings and dragons, and is heir to the throne of Berk, only and eldest son of Stoick the Vast, is afraid of spiders." "Not a word to the others." Short one-shot, taking place right after the season finale for "Defenders of Berk."


**So, this is a really short drabble. I just randomly got the idea. Enjoy! :D **

"ASTRID!"

Just as I walked into the academy, I heard Hiccup scream my name. Thinking something was wrong, I instantly ran inside, drawing my axe, Stormfly charging in behind me. I stopped when I looked at Hiccup, who was pressing himself against the wall, looking pale and terrified.

"What?" I asked. "What happened?"

"That!" Hiccup shouted, pointing to the corner. I looked, and then laughed. Hiccup glared at me, looking angry and shocked. "WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING ABOUT!?" he yelled.

"It's just a spider!" I said.

"JUST a SPIDER!?" Hiccup shouted in response. "That thing's bigger than my hand!"

"Then quit complaining and smash it with your shoe," I said.

"IT'S BIGGER THAN MY SHOE!" Hiccup shouted.

"Stop being such a scaredy cat," I said.

The spider wasn't really as big as Hiccup made it out to be, although it did look rather...disgusting, for lack of a better word. It was brown, its legs furry and long. I looked at it, just as it started creeping along the floor.

"EeeeeewwwWWWW IT'S MOVING!" Hiccup shouted, his voice rising dramatically as he ran and hid behind me. "Here, take her as tribute!" he shouted to the spider, pushing me towards it. The spider paid neither of us heed, scampering around the academy floor.

"Oh cut it out, Hiccup," I said. "It's completely harmless!"

"HARMLESS!?" Hiccup shrieked.

"Yes, quite harmless," I said.

"That thing's bigger than my head," he said, pointing at the spider. "And I'm sure it has friends."

"Then come on," I said. "Help me catch it, and we'll let it free."

"Help you...Astrid!" Hiccup shouted, suddenly jumping away from me as if I had suddenly sprouted eight legs. "What do you mean 'catch it'!? Are you CRAZY!?"

"Don't be such a wuss," I said. "Go get a jar, and a sheet."

"A sheet?" said Hiccup.

"Like a cookie sheet, or something," I replied. Hiccup was more than happy to leave the academy, although he was less than lackadaisical about returning.

He handed me the jar, although I made him keep the cookie sheet.

"I'm going to catch it," I said, "and then you're going to slide the cookie sheet underneath it, and we'll set it free outside, or something."

Hiccup gulped.

"Stop being a baby," I said.

"I'm not being a baby!" Hiccup retorted. The spider moved again, and he shrieked, skidding in the opposite direction. I laughed, and he glared at me.

"Okay," I said. "One...two...three!" I jumped forward, slamming the jar over the spider, successfully capturing it. "Yes!" I said. "Now Hiccup, do the thing."

"I can't do this!" said Hiccup.

"Do it already, before I let the spider free again!" I said.

Hiccup stepped forward slowly, the cookie sheet in his hands. I lifted the jar just slightly, and Hiccup slid the sheet underneath it, successfully trapping the spider between the jar and the cookie sheet.

"You're afraid of spiders," I said simply.

Hiccup frowned. "You're just getting that now?" he asked.

"No, I mean," I said, "get a load of this: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third, rider of the Night Fury, conqueror of dragons, who single handedly defeated the Red Death, took on Dagur the Deranged and Alvin the Treacherous, who ended the three hundred year war between vikings and dragons, and is heir to the throne of Berk, only and eldest son of Stoick the Vast, is afraid of _spiders_."

Hiccup opened his mouth to say something else, and then ended up closing it in the end. "Not a word to the others," he mumbled.

I nodded.

* * *

**Author's Notes: **

**I really think Hiccup being afraid of spiders is both humorous, and slightly realistic. In the TV series, it almost seems as if he has no fear. And so having a fear of something so small like a spider (even though they're not _all _small) would be really hilarious. :) **

**And of course Astrid's the noble one, who's just looking at Hiccup like "Oh come on, seriously?" and Hiccup's freaking out. :) **

**I hope you all liked this drabble, sorry for the shortness. It was supposed to be like that. :) **

**-BeyondTheClouds**


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